Preparing for birth can feel overwhelming, especially if traditional childbirth classes don’t feel like your thing. But here’s a little secret: you don’t need to memorize every labor stage or perfect your hospital bag to show up for birth feeling empowered.
From my experience as a doula and birth photographer, I see it again and again — birthing people get caught up in all the noise, the gear, the “must-do” checklists… and completely forget the three foundational things that actually move the needle when it comes to feeling prepared and confident: your environment, your support team, and—most importantly—learning to trust yourself.
1. Environment: Create a Safe Space for Your Primal Brain
Did you know that labor happens deep in your primal brain? That means your nervous system needs to feel safe and protected for birth to flow well. Your environment plays a huge subconscious role here.
Think about how your senses respond to light, sound, touch, and even who’s in the room. Flickering candles, dim lighting, calming scents, and familiar voices all tell your body: “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”
On the flip side, bright lights, loud noises, or people you don’t know/trust can trigger your nervous system’s fight-or-flight mode — making labor longer, harder, and less connected. Even if you feel safe on a conscious level, your primal/instinctual brain perceives these as threats, and therefore will slow your labor.
Spend some time now thinking about what makes you feel safe, calm, and supported. Even little things — a favorite blanket, soft music, or dimmed lights — can make a huge difference.
2. Support Team: Choose People Who Trust You As Much As You Trust Them
A common myth is that your support team just needs to be there for you — but the real power comes when your team trusts you and your decisions just as much as you trust them.
You are the one who knows your body, your baby, and what feels right in the moment. Your doula, OB or midwife, partner, or whoever is with you should honor that without pressure or judgment.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel heard and respected by this person?
Will they hold space for me if I change my mind?
Can I rely on them to advocate for me when I can’t speak for myself?
The more aligned your team is with YOU, the more confident you’ll feel to make choices that honor your intuition and needs.
3. Self-Trust: Practice Listening to and Advocating for Yourself
Many birthing people struggle with what’s sometimes called “good girl syndrome”— a habit of looking outside themselves for approval or answers instead of tuning inward.
But your intuition is one of your strongest birth tools. Learning to trust yourself — even in small ways — builds the muscle you’ll need when the big decisions come.
Start practicing self-trust now by standing up for what you want in everyday situations. It could be as simple as:
- Asking for that complicated order at Starbucks
- Sending your food back at a restaurant when it’s wrong
- Saying “no” to an event you don’t want to attend
Each time you practice advocating for yourself, you reinforce that your needs and voice matter. That builds confidence to trust your instincts and make empowered decisions in pregnancy, birth, and beyond.
Support for Your Birth Prep Journey
If you want a guided space to explore these foundations deeply, my friend Kayla (an Omaha-based doula) and I co-teach The Birth Prep Circle — a trauma-informed, holistic online course that walks you through these pillars and more.
Plus, if you're local to southeastern Nebraska and you hire me for doula or birth photography/videography services, you get free access to the course ($444 value) included — because helping you feel confident and supported is the heart of what I do.
Ready to explore your birth support options? Reach out here — I’m here to help you feel empowered and seen every step of the way.
